“Moving here basically wasn’t up to me. I was a kid with 3 sisters and 2 brothers, my dad wanted to give us better opportunities so he decided to move here. He had problems back at home anyways so it was best that we came here anyways, to leave the past behind us.
I didn’t really know English when I first got here, so it was hard to communicate with people who didn’t understand Spanish for a while. The City was so different compared to that of the small town. I always run with this fear that someday I will be arrested for running a red light or driving without a license and being turned over to immigration. I feel like I’m limited to certain aspects of life that a regular citizen would have in their lives.
I guess the positive aspects that come out of being an immigrant is that I’ve learned to appreciate everything I have compared to the regular citizen. If I were granted citizenship I would grasp the opportunities it entails and better appreciate them better than many people that are citizens take for granted. I’ve also learned to take a different perspective on things. You learn not to limit your perspective from what YOU see but rather what drives people to do certain things. Being an outsider makes me appreciate the differences in people.
I’ve never truly had a difficult situation to face, at least not yet. However, adapting to this country is very hard. Even after taking classes from ESL teachers, it still took me about 4 – 5 years to truly be comfortable with my surroundings at school. The kids, in my opinion, were much more open about things than they were in Mexico. I stopped feeling like an outsider my freshman year in high school. Communication could be said to have been the hardest part to adapting and even then I really don’t feel like I had been completely adapted.
Overall, however, even living here illegally; there are much better opportunities here than living back in Mexico. It’s much tougher to make a good future out of the choices made over there. Moving here was the best choice for me, I can build a good future for myself if I wanted to here. If I don’t like it here, I could always go back and start my life back again in Mexico.
Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have stayed in Mexico. Sometimes I feel like I would have been happier in Mexico simply because I would not really stand out due to my background, origin and legal status. Yes, I do miss things from Mexico. I miss the calming quiet eerie nights in my little town, my family left behind, the animals I could see on a regular basis, the rand my dad had, and a couple of my friends I don’t think I’ll ever see again…”